It’s late and an impending Spanish test has kept me from writing tonight. But alas, excuses make for poor reading. So, leaving only seven words between the offense and the retraction, I commence, with apologies for having apologized.

Updates: I just realized (to my horror) that my brother Grisha is at camp. And he has been [...]

People say it’s unwise to joke about death. In my family, even the barest mention of somebody dying prompts demands to “Bite your tongue.” And it’s meant literally; put your tongue between your teeth and squeeze.

But while death gets all the attention, it’s jokes about old age you really have to worry about. I’ve [...]

Here, in my tradition of reviewing plays when it’s already too late for my readers to see them, is my estimation of The Guthrie Theater’s just-ended production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Pirates of Penzance.”

My familiarity with “Pirates of Penzance” had, until Friday, extended only to Barney’s rendition, while doing backflips, of the show’s hit song [...]

I want my brain connected to Google. I want to be able to just think of doing a search on a word or phrase, and instantly get the results, inside my head.

And, as long as we’re speculating wildly, I want it to be free.

Oh, I know it’s a long shot. It’s probably been considered before [...]

The mayor of the City of Saint Paul is trying to kill me. I suppose it has to do with my having expressed unflattering opinions about him. But hey, I can’t help it, I just channel the truth, I don’t invent it.

If I did, I wouldn’t have invented this outcome to the vote on the [...]

Hello to the months of July and August! I see you there, peeking around the corner. Are you dressed yet? It’s time to go. Put a double-knot in those shoes and slick you hair back, summer’s coming.

Sometimes I think summer lives elsewhere and only comes up here for a vacation. And just like in the [...]

For over a year now I have not grocery shopped. Oh, I have stopped at grocery stores, but only to buy things I needed right then. Grocery shopping, in the once-a-week stock-up-on-things-you-eat-regularly way, is a sport I’ve tried and failed to learn.

When I moved out, a few things shocked me; laundry (I was spoiled all [...]

Update; Here’s Jeff Jarvis’ reaction to seeing the film.

There’s oh-so-much hype about Michael Moore’s new film, Fahrenheit 911 (whew, tough spell!), which comes out this Friday. And in nearly every mention I’ve seen about this movie, one presumably damning statistic about George Bush is repeated: he spent 42% of his first eight months in office [...]

Sorry for the title…it’s Monday.

Bachman’s sold my girlfriend an orchid for ten dollars, and she left it in my care. That’s like trading a BMX for a BMW, and then letting your golden retriever drive it home.

The orchid has a tall and wobbly stem; it can’t stand on its own, so it’s twisty-tied to a [...]

Ahh, another week gone, another night swinging on the porch. This week many people celebrated the anniversary of a famous book few people have read. I’m proud to be at once a part of and distinguished from that group (I haven’t read it, and I didn’t celebrate).

I often think of writing a novel, it has [...]